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How to FEEL successful more often

Updated: Jun 6

Last week, I played my first round of golf for the season. 


I don't play all the time and it is a game that you must practice consistently to get good at. So, my first round is always fraught with wondering if I’m going to forget everything I’ve learned. Will I have a terrible round? Will I remember how to use each club?


Playing mind games is typical for golf.

In fact, playing mind games is typical for life.

Mind games can get in the way of feeling successful. 


How do you feel successful when something is challenging?


Here’s my answer 




Find different ways to measure your success.


As a golfer, for example, you get caught up in the number. 

Bigger number = a worse game.


My first round of golf I scored an honest 63 on nine holes.


Normally I would despise that number, but I haven't swung a club since last summer.


So, I decided in advance of my first game that I was just going have to fun with the round. Whatever happens, happens.


The day would just be about getting back into the swing of things… no pun intended.


When I got home, my husband asked me how my round went. I said, “It went great!”


I truly felt it was a great round despite my score. I felt good about it because I measured my success in other ways.


I decided I would be successful when:


  • the shot didn’t do what I intended, yet I still got a good result.

  • I didn’t have to take too many shots to get out of a tough situation.

  • I decided to be more conservative rather than risky with my shot.

  • I felt I picked the right club for me.

  • my shot did what I was aiming to do.

  • I only lost 1 ball.

Bottom line: I created a sense of ease for myself to feel success.

We can find many avenues to beat ourselves up in leadership and life. 


But let’s re-frame SUCCESS, so that we can experience it more. 


Ways to set yourself up for success:

  • Widen your perspective on success. Don’t make it so narrow, you can’t win.

  • Decide in advance what success will look like.

  • Be compassionate with yourself.

  • Laugh at yourself; find the humour in it.

  • Remind yourself what you’re doing well.

  • Remind yourself that you’re just beginning.

  • Learn to take the losses without getting defeated.

  • Remove the heavy expectations. (I have a rule about setting the bar low when starting something.)


Find a new way to measure your success and the feeling of success will soar. 


Coaching Question: What ideas can you adopt to allow yourself to feel success more often?


Want to start your week off inspired? 

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