Why is it we only learn from our suffering? Why do we have to go through hard things to learn the lessons of life?
We learn from our suffering because it forces us to pay attention. We cannot ignore the pain, heartbreak, or discomfort. The pain forces us to examine what is going on. We may not get the lesson the first time; we might have to wait for a pattern to occur (and pain to intensify) before we figure out what is going on.
This makes me think about our joy….
Why is that we don’t pay attention to our joy and happiness? I believe those moments also teach us. I think the reason we don’t learn lessons from our happy times is that we are too busy feeling good. Who wants to stop the happy train? No one! I don’t have time to examine that, I’m having too much fun celebrating!
Also, I don’t think we are taught to reflect on our joy.
There is richness in our joy, yet suffering gets all the attention.
Plus, I think we are addicted to suffering and pain. Don't believe me? Try to have a conversation with someone about being happy. They will bring you their pain instead.
When we experience joy, it shows us what is already working in our life. If you are looking for a manual on how to do life, flip to the section of your life where you have experienced the most joy.
Pay attention to your happiness.
When you feel happiness or pure joy, reflect on what is happening in the moment. This is valuable information.
Often your joy is showing you a Value that is important to you; for example, if I am having a coffee with a friend, I am in my happy zone. I love connecting, catching up and hearing about what they are learning.
If I reflected on joy from my day, this experience would come up. I would ask myself What about this experience did I love? What about this lit me up? I would identify that I love connection. This is important because CONNECTION is one of my core values.
If I didn’t already know this about myself, it would be an a-ha moment… a real moment of learning. Joy taught me that.
So, then I can take this new found knowledge and find more ways to create CONNECTION in my life.
Our joy can show us:
what we value.
what we like.
how we want to spend our time.
our personal preferences.
Be aware of it what makes you feel good.
Do more of what makes you feel good.
Coaching Question: Choose one joyful/ happy experience in the past week. Reflect on what about that experience was joyful. What was happening in the moment? Who were you with? What were you doing? What made you feel happy? How can you take what you learned and apply it in other areas of your life?
Want to start your week off inspired?
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