What I Tell Leaders Behind Closed Doors

One on one, leaders tell me the truth. I appreciate the honesty because that means they feel psychologically safe with me. I also share with them some leadership truths.

Maybe you need to hear them today.

5 TRUTHS I share with leaders behind closed doors:

1. You don’t have to have it all figured out.

While you need to have a vision of where you're going, you mightn’t know exactly how to get there. The good news is the power is the team. A leader’s job becomes leveraging the people around them: talk with them, get to know them as people, find out what they know, what do they think, coach them. Take the pressure off yourself. It's not all about you; it’s all about them. When you help your team and show them how much you care, you build trust and trust is the fuel that will take you to great places. 

2. Coach your team. 

This truth follows idea #1 because if you don’t have to have everything all figured out, how are you going to lead people? One way is to through coaching. Coaching is a skill of asking questions to help people move from point A to point B. It helps people unpack problems to find solutions. Coaching also helps raise self-awareness and unearths issues you are unaware of. If you have an ability to discover answers by asking great questions, you are a very valuable person. 

3. Listen deeply.

Perhaps you’ve heard the statement “The answer is in the room.”  If you’ve ever facilitated a meeting, you've had to listen deeply to the answers that are given. This is true even when you are speaking to someone one on one. A good communicator knows that listening is more powerful than talking. A Greek philosopher once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” The power is listening to what someone else is saying. (Deep listening + great questions = 💥)

4. You’re underestimating your influence.

Everything counts when it comes to influencing others: how we show up, how we speak, even our body language. A simple hello with a smile says a lot about your energy. You have the power to influence those around you whether they directly work for you or not. The most powerful tool you have when it comes to influence is who you are BEING. 

5. You’re doing great. 

Encouragements are a powerful tool. Recall a time when you've been encouraged, or someone spoke kind words to acknowledge who you are or how you were showing up. Remember how good that felt. It’s an injection of energy. I deeply encourage those I work with whether - during coaching or while training- as I am reminded of this quote from Julia Cameron, “When you focus on people’s strengths, their weaknesses fall away.” People usually know what they’re not doing well, but they have a hard time seeing what they’re doing right. When you reflect that back to them, they sit up a little taller. When you feel good, you feel confident and motivated to continue because you were seen. 

I hope this gives you some inner peace around being a leader and encouragement that you don’t have to lead perfectly. 

Coaching Question: What is coming up for you right now as you read these 5 truths?

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